ling

from ling's blog, on 01 may, 2006. here
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So, what exactly is (L)love?

Should i capitalise love? Love is capitalised upon by so many people. Well, girls especially, capitalise on love or the illusion of it such that they get things in return.

The things in question for girls, are, money, time, security, someone to hold the shopping bags, someone drive them around, or someone who never goes away for god knows what reason. Like Mr. Threeyears.

The things in question for the guys. Sex. Sex. And...sex. The hotter the girl, the quieter(in life, not in bed..yes, ha..ha.), the better. If you think you are not that base and vile, think again. What do you want? Something from the list below, (a), (b), (c)? Which? What combination? Everything? Something like...Boy A can give me (c), Boy B can give me (a)? Compartalizing your boyfriend/husband for one part of your life?

There is no such thing as love. Love is a moment. Love is not an emotion. It is one moment when you think, Ah ha! So that's what Shakespeare was talking about, that's what the drama and the poetry's about.

I am in total agreement with Alexis.

Yet, we all need this fleeting "emotion" like food, water and air. Why? Can we all not be alone? This will become an existential question of whether we can really establish even a connection between two people. But it is the right direction to step...

Words are arbitrary. How can you speak, when your words are misconstrued by even those most familiar to you? Mr. Threeyears and me had a conversation the other day. He was telling me he's going out on hot parties in the States, and starts talking about how the Asian babes are so hot. I merely said, Okay, great. Have fun. I have to go to work now.

He starts telling me that he is hurt; unhappy that I've been "attacking him" for his lifestyle. There he was partying away, and here I am slogging away for minimum wage. Total disconnect. Talking past each other, noise and more noise.

Well. So much for "love".

Is love:

a) Intellectual connection
b) Companionship
c) Passion
d) Security and Stability
e) A reason to live
f) A reason to die

The answer is 'g')None of the above

The nature of everyone around us, ourselves included, can serve only as transient slates. It is like water. Holds the reflection for a while. It evaporates. We can never manage to hold memories with clarity and accuracy in our minds. Everything becomes a view through a hazy window, even one second after the event. Toward the end of your life, that window closes upon everyone else. You mother and father's would have shut theirs on you years before. And you wonder, what was that all about. Then your children will ask the same question. We keep disconnecting. And connections are already few and far in between.

The place where you came from, your mother, is an obscure place where your father is confused. If I go into the technical aspects, I'm afraid the virgin boys will blush so let's not go there. Confusion. Why do we have children? Why do we want to have children?

There is no reason to have any. There is no reason not to have any. Just like there is no reason to live because it will all end one day, but there is no reason to die either.

Ironically, living for someone makes you a psycho. Dying for someone also makes the psychotic. Don't try this at home. (Interesting. Have we found the meaning of life right here? Fall in love, and you don't need Jesus! Or the Buddha! Or Allah! Just live for him/her. That is religion. Woohooo!)

Back to topic.

Love does not happen by chance. If anyone ever tells you that, they are insane. Run, run as far and as fast as you possibly can. If you want to attempt any of the (a), (b), (c), (d), or (f) listed above, you MUST spend time with the person. But success of having any one of these items ticked off is impossible. There will never be a place where you will really understand, even through music, drama, art or actions. The mind will never grasp the entirety of the other human. You can barely grasp the entirety of your own self. Then again, if you do not achieve any of the above, but choose to continue anyway, you will simply be doing what I have described. You will talk past each other. You will disconnect, as you always have. You will never ever feel anything besides the fire in your loins where your children came from, where you came from. You will never feel anything, other than the restless fidget you get when you walk around stupid places like Orchard road alone. Which is the exact moment you think, wouldn't it be nice if I had someone to hold hands with to walk down this stretch of crowded street? Wouldn't it be nice if there was someone to snuggle up to?

That is the "moment" the right person comes along, and you think, Ah, how nice. Just the way you say "Ah how nice" when you get hot tea and scones on a rainy day. (Listening to the So Nice bossa song thingy would be appropriate now.) Yeah, just that scones and tea goes down the alleys of your bowels, just like your "moment".

Looking out for other humans will not make "love" happen as Alf puts it. If you were drowning/dying of thrist/robbed etc I would help you. I look out for you. It is human nature's compassion. Either you have it, or you don't. That does not mean I love you. Unless you mean it in a crazy christian love thy neighbour sense. (I'll talk about religion another time.)

Since the "moment" defines love, we all look for that moment, but it might never come. Once it arrives, it leaves just as promptly. It might leave something behind for you to look on, through your memory. Sometimes you never even acknowledge its presence.

You can continue looking into your hazy window for your version of love. It will be a view no one else can see or make sense of, because we will disconnect. After that moment.